Some random Earth Online fun facts: 1. Someone who was supposed to end up on a tissue somehow grew up into an adult. 2. Eyes so small that a single speck of dirt could blind them. 3. If your mouth is that bored, go lick every toilet in a public restroom clean. 4. I’m actually a super nice girl. If I insulted you, it’s because you deserved it—it’s got nothing to do with me. 5. You grew this tall just to make sure your ugliness is extra noticeable? 6. Standing right in front of me is a victim of the Sanlu milk powder scandal—what else can I even say? 7. If I don’t mess with abstract stuff, what should I do? If I mess with you, can you even handle it? 8. Wondering why it’s not raining? Turns out you’ve left me speechless. 9. Your pain? I screenshot it and share it a couple of times. 10. If your life were made into a documentary, it’d be a cautionary tale about not using protection. 11. Nothing’s a big deal—except your little buddy. 12. Mouth thicker than a city wall, brain smaller than a walnut, perspective narrower than a needle’s eye.